Children's literature

I should say at the outset that I believe that reading to children is important. Really important. Like 'if your kid can't recognise a hungry caterpillar at 40 paces by the time they're three you get a smack' important. That being said reading to kids is kind of brain shattering. Much like with their music kids are happy to have the same book read to them on very, very high repeat. And when I say "happy to" I mean "tantrum chuckingly demanding to". The problem with reading the same very short story again and again is that you start to notice problems with it. Inconsistencies and plot holes begin to niggle at you like a sore tooth. Tiny issues, by the 100th reading, eat at you until you simply have to write about it on the internet...
The one that is currently shitting me to tears is the Three Billy Goats Gruff. For those of you who had terrible parents that hated you and never read to you the story goes like this: There are three goats. They've eaten all the grass where they are. Just over a bridge is more grass but underneath the bridge is a troll who eats anyone crossing his bridge. Now, the goats know about the troll and this is important. But they've eaten all the grass on their side and they have to cross the bridge or starve. So they come up with a plan. And the plan is this: The littlest one goes first and the troll tries to eat him but the little one is all, like, "Nah, mate, nah, I'm little. Fatter goats are on their way. Wait for those guys" and then crosses the bridge. And then the second goat does the same. And then the third goat, the biggest goat comes along and smashes the troll. The end. You can see it, right? I'm not mad. There is a glaring issue here, at the planning stage. No?
How about if we investigate the planning meeting:
Big Billy Goat Gruff: We have to cross the bridge or we'll starve. Unfortunately, there's a troll. Fortunately, I can totally smash him so there's nothing to worry about.
Other Two Goats: Yay!
Big Billy Goat Gruff: So what we'll do, right, is this. Little Billy Goat Gruff you cross first.
Little Billy Goat Gruff: Righto. Wait...What?
BBGG: You go first.
LBGG: But...You just said you could smash him...
BBGG: Sure, sure. But you go first and you tell him, right, you tell him that there are bigger goats coming and he shouldn't bother with you.
LBGG: But...Why don't you just go first and smash him and then we'll follow you?
BBGG: But he won't eat you, see? Because he won't want to ruin his appetite with a little goat! See? Genius!
LBGG: Yes. Very clever. Not quite as clever as, say, you going first and smashing him and then me not really being in danger of being eaten at all though, is it?
BBGG: Fuck you. I'm the Big Billy Goat Gruff. Now push off.

The Big Billy Goat Gruff. What a bastard.